tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28147712341609444792024-03-05T14:56:18.313-06:00Mary Go Round (How to Fix a Broken Ankle)The best broken ankle blog ever!Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.comBlogger92125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-55419733741137931742012-06-10T11:15:00.005-05:002012-06-10T11:15:58.461-05:00I'll know more Friday. We might be doing surgery #8<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">“Run when you can, walk if you have to,<br />crawl if you must; just never give up.”<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">― Dean Karnazes
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<br style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" /></div>Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-29972255606496925752012-05-06T08:29:00.000-05:002012-05-06T08:29:26.516-05:00Leave it to you guysLet me preface this by saying, I DO NOT want to write this. I have done my very best to avoid my blog, pretend it doesn't exist, pretend things aren't happening. But I woke up this morning to a blog comment that made me realize that I do want to get this off my chest. So here we go. About a month ago I noticed a stabbing pain in my foot, just underneath my subtalar joint. My immediate reaction, was "Oh please no!" but I managed to calm myself. And by calm myself, I mean that I pushed myself so far into denial that it took me weeks to get out of it. I couldn't walk those first two days. The pain woke me up out of a sound sleep. I was miserable. I immediately suspended my gym privileges. I was struggling enough just to get through the mandatory parts of my day. Along with the stabbing pain, the limping I was forced to do aggravated every single tendon below my knee. It felt like they were on fire. I did what I've learned to do- ice, anti-inflammatories and rest. But still, the pain persisted. After 4 weeks, I emailed Dr. McGorgeous and ran this all past him. He suspected a stress fracture in my foot and ordered x-rays, sight unseen. The x-rays were negative, which is common, so he wants to see me in a week. My foot is most definitely feeling better, but it has feeling better because I'm not doing anything. I tried something at the gym to see if I could get it to hurt, and I can. I've got a lot of anxiety because it's difficult to tell the difference between the tendon pain in my foot and this stabbing pain. Sometimes it feels unstable, which horrifies me to the point where I almost can't breathe. You can see why denial was a good place for me. It's going to be a long week of waiting. Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-63533146244036043702012-03-14T14:08:00.002-05:002012-03-14T14:34:00.151-05:00Things are taking a turnI'm getting stronger. Like, a lot stronger. I've been going to the gym 1-2 times per week since I posted last. My poor right knee, which has taken on the brunt of the work since my left ankle got hurt, is feeling so much better. I'm feeling so much better.<br /><br />I'm still having nerve pain though. And in some unholy turn of events, the nerve pain comes on with my other PMS symptoms and lasts til the first day of my period. I don't know how this is all going to play out. But I do know that I'm having 25 good days a month and 5-6 bad ones. It's manageable. I'd like it to get better, and if there is any possible way for me to fight to get it better, I will.<br /><br />I don't see Dr. McGorgeous again til June. I'm hoping to see some nerve pain improvement by then and I'd really like to avoid going to pain management.<br /><br />I'm finding myself to be really emotional lately. I think the last 3+ years are starting to sink in and now that I'm not in a haze of pain I'm starting to understand just how bad things have been. I cry at song lyrics sometimes. I cry because I'm so grateful and so in awe that I'm now able to give you good updates. I can walk to my mailbox again. I can take out the garbage and go grocery shopping and get to work and school. I feel less like a burden to my friends and family. I can't believe my ankle isn't fused. I can't believe I found a doctor that cares as much as mine does. I can't believe he's fought as long and as hard on my behalf as he has. I don't know what I did to deserve a doctor like that. I'm getting less scared each day. Less scared of the surgery failing and less scared of hurting myself again. And I'm getting more powerful. It's hard for me to explain, but I think back to a year ago when I was visiting Indianapolis and just finding out that I had a genetic disorder and that I would need to donate my own bone graft. And that I would need my tibia sawed in half to place the graft. It was the feeling of "get knocked down 7 times, stand up 8." And there's power in that. Knowing that what you think are your limits aren't really your limits. "I can't do this" or "I can't go through this again" mean NOTHING. You can. You will. You will fight because you don't have any other choice. And even when you fail, and fail and your body fails you again, you get to be proud because you FOUGHT. I'm glad I have that.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-38480172269980480572012-02-20T09:29:00.003-06:002012-02-20T09:46:46.354-06:00Long Overdue<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3S0-9Z5bEcM6IXftXx7Aohc0ZeHY13lOeGWmKgrtwYh7F-uRrXvqaFAJnHs33XhY_HVcnZbCQDbgSP6a2dzvS1aKpkIM1X-aMa9eCC4rAgSCkCByWFzE6rHKQ5qPiF3p-hOySPdCxa_fv/s1600/ankleblog12.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3S0-9Z5bEcM6IXftXx7Aohc0ZeHY13lOeGWmKgrtwYh7F-uRrXvqaFAJnHs33XhY_HVcnZbCQDbgSP6a2dzvS1aKpkIM1X-aMa9eCC4rAgSCkCByWFzE6rHKQ5qPiF3p-hOySPdCxa_fv/s320/ankleblog12.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5711244190040679218" border="0" /></a><br />I know, I know. Let me start at the beginning, with my steroid injection last month. I was sitting on the table, surrounded by the supplies, pretending not to be nervous (needles, man! In my JOINT!) when Dr. McGorgeous walked in. And asked why I hadn't just given myself the injection. He then noticed that no one left a needle on a tray and commented "Smart nurse". Okay, so apparently I have a bit of a reputation in his practice. I guess other people don't take their own sutures out and ask for videotapes of their surgeries. I don't understand why not. So, because Dr. McGorgeous is literally the best doctor in the entire world, he starts to numb my ankle with some freezing spray. And then this exchange occured:<br /><br />Dr: Acckk! Ow! I got some on my knee! This is really cold!!<br />Me: I'm sorry this is so uncomfortable for you<br />Dr.: I AM uncomfortable!!!! Okay, I'm putting the needle in now<br /><br />So I got some steroids. And he left for five minutes. No sooner did he walk out the door than this WAVE of heat courses through my entire body. It was like being electrified with heat. He comes back as my hot flash is ending, but I'm still holding my hair up off my neck and fanning the sweat off my face. I asked him if this happens to normal people or just me, and he said it was actually pretty common. +1 point for being common! Woot! So then he lets me know that it will hurt a lot tonight, and for the next couple days. And to call his office and let him know how I'm doing in 48 hours. So I wait for the pain and there is nothing. It's as if nothing ever happened. Since I was numb, maybe he didn't even inject me! He just pretended!<br /><br />Three weeks later I head in for my follow-up and tell him and the resident that the steroid injection never happened. Or at least that's what it felt like. They said this is a good diagnostic clue. Because the steroid never hurt and never helped, not even a little, this pain isn't related to the joint, the bone, or the ligaments. Which led him to diagnose the pain as nerve pain. OMFG, WTF, JFC. So I have nerve pain on both sides of my ankle. Why am I so nerve-y? I don't know- I'm going to ask at my next appointment, which is in.............JULY!!!<br /><br />Even though I still have nerve pain, it is getting better and manageable. Dr. McGorgeous is hopeful that since I'm only 8 months out from surgery that I still have a whole bunch of healing left to do and the nerve pain will keep getting better. So we are waiting for 5 entire months before I have another followup. You guys. This is big.<br /><br />And even bigger are the parts of my life that have been coming back. I have a gym membership again. I only go once a week to do some strength training. I've lost so much muscle in the last 3 years. I'm not trying to be a hero, just trying to be safe and cautious and do my best. My every day normal life is getting better- I don't dread taking the garbage out or checking the mail or grocery shopping like I used to. I have quite a few days during the week when I'm on my feet for 15 hours. I'd say 80% of the time I get home and DON'T have that rock hard swelling I've been so used to. I'm becoming more optimistic the more time passes, but I am also very, very realistic about this. I'm only 8 months in to an 18 month recovery. There's still so much time for things to go wrong, and things have always gone wrong for me. I'm not celebrating my "recovery" just yet. But I am celebrating each milestone I reach that I thought was gone for good.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-59124027901641058022012-01-25T13:25:00.002-06:002012-01-25T13:31:59.074-06:00Yeah, yeah, yeahI still need to tell you guys about the steroid injection. We'll get to it. But I wanted to share something else I found today. Anyone who knows me has heard me say that hurting my ankle is the best worst thing that's ever happened to me. It's given me so many opportunities and so many ways to grow. And that if I had this to do all over again, I'd do it. I wouldn't like it.....I didn't like it the first time around.....but I'd do it.<br /><br />This is from Glennon Melton, entitled "Don't Carpe Diem"<br /><br />"I think<span style="font-style: italic;"> parenting young children (and old ones, I've heard)</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> lets replace this with fixing an ankle</span><br /> is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they've heard there's magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it's hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up."Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-14726603855333180702012-01-13T10:26:00.002-06:002012-01-13T10:30:58.212-06:00How Did I Get Here?Today is three years. Three years since I walked out of the gym and into my new life. I swore when this started that I wouldn't let my injury define me. But looking back three years later, it has defined me. This has been a turning point in my life for so many things. I'm grateful that I've been able to learn so much about myself and how strong I can be when I need to. But I still wonder what it would have been like if I hadn't had to go through this.<br /><br />I'll have an update soon about the steroid injection and how I'm feeling physically. But today I just want to sit and think about how I got where I am today.<br /><br />Happy Anniversary.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-28174476083576395642011-12-18T10:14:00.002-06:002011-12-18T10:19:33.074-06:00Anxiety FridayThe phone rang at 8:40am and it was the doctor's office. Calling me back with my x-ray results. And I missed the effing call. I grabbed the phone on the last ring, but it was too late. I called back immediately, but the nurse was already away from her desk and after waiting for her to call me til 2:30 I thought I was going to explode from anxiety so I called back again.<br /><br />The x-rays are negative for bone spurs. But Dr. McGorgeous gets me, and I think he knows when I say "it feels like bone spurs" what I mean is, "I feel irritation inside the joint". In the past, my irritation in the joint HAS been caused by bone spurs, but that's not what's happening this time. It's probably some scar tissue in there that's causing me pain, so instead of a surgery to remove bone spurs, I am getting a steroid injection.<br /><br />That's such a huge relief. I tried on Friday to imagine what I would do if I needed an 8th trip to the operating room. And I can't. I just can't. So here's hoping the steroids work, and that there's nothing more serious going on.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-91738181090924550142011-12-15T20:02:00.002-06:002011-12-15T20:10:26.872-06:00These people are going to give me a strokeDr. McGorgeous wants x-rays. I know this because his nurse called me this morning and told me. And told me to show up today or tomorrow and they will do them. Okay.<br /><br />So I roll in at 3pm. The receptionist seems confused by my presence at first, but seems okay with my explanation. So I wait for about 20 minutes. One of the x-ray techs, who has seen me every time she came out to get someone, asks if I'm waiting for an x-ray. I SURE AM!!!<br /><br />As it turns out, Dr. McGorgeous never signed the order for the x-ray. Another 20 minutes goes by. Now I can hear two receptionists and the office manager discussing the problem.<br /><br />They had set up the x-ray for my February appointment, not for today.<br /><br />Ok, so......45 minutes and I'm back in radiology. The tech comes in a goes "We're doing right ankle, left ankle and right foot films".<br /><br />No. We aren't. I would have been okay if she had said right and left ankle. Maybe Dr. McGorgeous wants to compare them. I don't know. But right foot? Nuh-uh. So after a few minutes of disagreeing, she goes off to double check.<br /><br />Left ankle films ONLY.<br /><br />Told ya so.<br /><br />As I'm waiting to make sure the x-rays are okay, the head radiology dude (official title) comes in and asks me if I work there. Because I look familiar and I seem to have a good working knowledge of the office policies. Omg. I look familiar and I know what's up because I have been coming in here at least once a month for almost three years.<br /><br />Please tell me that getting the results will be easier than getting the films.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-9763695107462564562011-12-14T13:23:00.001-06:002011-12-14T13:24:39.708-06:00I'm not gonna make it til FebSomething is going on with my subtalar joint. Nothing from the big incision. Nerve pain feels under control. This is something new. Well, not new. It feels like bone pain. I'm guessing there is a bone spur in there.<br /><br />Or else it's a torn ligament.<br /><br />I'm waiting to hear when Dr. McGorgeous wants to see me.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-25959284473895893262011-11-20T18:17:00.002-06:002011-11-20T18:25:05.385-06:00things are happening, people!What a difference a month and a TENS unit will make. My pain is drastically reduced. It always makes me sad when the pain dies down and I realize just how bad it's been. When I'm in the thick of the pain, I try to block it out. I don't want to think about it or acknowledge it. But it had been really really bad. There were many occasions where I would look at my hand and at my nails and picture myself reaching down and tearing my own skin off. Because that would make the pain better. That's some crazy shit right there. But now things are getting better. I saw Dr. McGorgeous and he's really happy with how much bone I've been growing and how much better my pain is. I'm allowed to use the elliptical, the bike and go to yoga again. My first time going to the gym was so emotional. I am only doing 10 minutes on levels 1/2 but mentally and emotionally I feel like I've reached a milestone. I cried a lot when I got home that night. Out of joy for where I am now and out of sadness for what I went through to get here. And I'm not out of the woods. I have another doctor's appointment in February. He wants to see the bone continue to grow, my pain continue to fade, my strength grow and my shin splints resolve. It's hard to believe this could actually be real. That THIS could have been the surgery that did it. If you've read this blog, you can understand why I'm hesitant to get excited. In the meantime, I will just do what I can. I have a "workout" planned for tomorrow. I can't wait. :)Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-53241615165868523472011-10-11T15:29:00.003-05:002011-10-11T15:34:06.762-05:00I love this thing<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTsn7CkWFkMrUPnGF95z97hOnAcRh0jsQS1xb29viAeJfrBlPUlME6bi7-rxJM9WDtoHgzcfkuXIqLK-xBZgjQ_HUmNeMmzm5lmtCDT6KT1EZVVZ24SkyADAGgxfp_y59j_vmffyPVBMiR/s1600/tens.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTsn7CkWFkMrUPnGF95z97hOnAcRh0jsQS1xb29viAeJfrBlPUlME6bi7-rxJM9WDtoHgzcfkuXIqLK-xBZgjQ_HUmNeMmzm5lmtCDT6KT1EZVVZ24SkyADAGgxfp_y59j_vmffyPVBMiR/s320/tens.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5662335402889190722" border="0" /></a><br />File this under: Things That Only Happen To Me.<br /><br />-Dr. McGorgeous cancels all my physical therapy and prescribes a TENS unit<br />-I pick up the TENS unit and they tell me I have to have a PT appointment to turn it on<br />-I call Dr. McGorgeous's office and have him write a brand new script for PT<br />-A week later I show up at my appointment and find out the appointment was for an evaluation not a TENS unit<br />-We sit and wait to see if Dr. McGorgeous's office will fax an updated script<br />-I try not to spontaneously combust because it's been 10 days since I saw Dr. McGorgeous and I could really use some pain relief.<br /><br />But eventually, finally, the TENS is set up. Instantly, I am better. I have been walking 5 blocks to class and 5 blocks back every day. I have energy when I get home from work. I can make plans again. My quality of life has improved to the power of a million since I got this. I feel like a real person again.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-37266220660992757112011-10-03T13:03:00.002-05:002011-10-03T13:05:57.909-05:00Saw that coming....MRI results are in, and it looks like it is supposed to look. Which means the cause of my pain isn't anything structural, it's the tendons getting inflamed and pushing on the nerves. That's according to the doctors. I believe that is partially true. I think in addition to the tendonitis, there is something that happens when my skin gets touched that causes me insane nerve pain. I am still unable to wear a sock! I haven't started using the TENS yet (hopefully this week) but I will report back on whether or not that gives me any relief!Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-53685080073865938542011-09-28T20:29:00.002-05:002011-09-28T20:32:10.954-05:00Checking InWell, I made it to my appointment with Dr. McGorgeous. I explained to him that I can't wear a sock, I have to be careful how water from the shower hits me, that physical therapy hasn't done anything, and that the pain is so bad that I would be willing to take and go through withdrawals from Lyrica again.<br /><br />He got how much pain I'm in.<br /><br />And we have a plan. I had an MRI today to rule out anything structural. I have anti-inflammatories and pain killers. I will hopefully be picking up my TENS unit tomorrow. I will keep you all updated on what happens.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-65053367485158906872011-09-17T10:16:00.001-05:002011-09-17T10:17:52.343-05:00Emo today<table bgcolor="#ffffff" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="770"><tbody><tr><td align="left" valign="top" width="580">you've got to get better,<br />said, it's all in your head,<br />we could live through these letters<br />or forget it altogether,<br />see the months they dont matter<br />its the days i can't take<br />when the hours move to minutes<br />and i'm seconds away<br /><br /><br />New American Classic by Taking Back Sunday<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-44631982974329902452011-09-13T20:07:00.004-05:002011-09-13T20:16:34.367-05:00Bling bling<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTFFuh0iEBu0Kb-Y669Hi4kNrYhW8ISLa-OSEEBEACI1uIgclrA4Vs6UNmepuXXNieCBhhu2zu2rPMuRcjszqxU8zPoZzO-_uVPSQwMTX2wgOHEvtOZM-cT7lbfEViEqwRUdbu7JML16Uw/s1600/anklescrews.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 202px; height: 245px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTFFuh0iEBu0Kb-Y669Hi4kNrYhW8ISLa-OSEEBEACI1uIgclrA4Vs6UNmepuXXNieCBhhu2zu2rPMuRcjszqxU8zPoZzO-_uVPSQwMTX2wgOHEvtOZM-cT7lbfEViEqwRUdbu7JML16Uw/s320/anklescrews.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5652017543085790802" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDM2mwYOVd3_Xk71V5_MVeFPg9l_56-bPJhry0iFxu42zZ_obIJvrearsQ-u6YyEadk2A913SpaDKMiDufOnUxS5xHAy1fAhkPHJCDAwfd94C1tU4zrfRIEClOEmprB7sb9mO7V64O2obe/s1600/anklescr.gif"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 1px; height: 1px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDM2mwYOVd3_Xk71V5_MVeFPg9l_56-bPJhry0iFxu42zZ_obIJvrearsQ-u6YyEadk2A913SpaDKMiDufOnUxS5xHAy1fAhkPHJCDAwfd94C1tU4zrfRIEClOEmprB7sb9mO7V64O2obe/s320/anklescr.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5652017152156011394" border="0" /></a>I thought you might like to see what exactly is holding my ankle together. Two bigass titanium screws. These were taken at my last appointment, in August, but I just got a copy. Fair warning- I'm probably not going to post in the next couple of weeks. The nerve pain has become unbearable and right now I just need to focus on making it to my next appointment.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-70405117490829129422011-09-01T10:21:00.001-05:002011-09-01T10:22:59.456-05:00It buuuuurrrrrnnnnnnsssssNerve pain can suck it. We are working in physical therapy to desensitize my incision, but a couple therapists have thrown around a diagnosis of Complex Regional Pain Syndrome- or "craps" for short. I don't see Dr. McGorgeous for 3 more weeks, but I'm REALLY hoping this isn't the case.
<br />Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-17365950768586406462011-08-18T16:41:00.002-05:002011-08-18T16:45:22.853-05:00Impressive?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOYnV_XJZ1Pm8GSYGfJ0bmBk-84k7xU0PGE4_glynstqt7DwtoHk-C_yAmTRHFG2OdXoAYTx7WohLf3IET36-WuTB1XCgbxStPxpCAVY987ym6ymE8gsF1X8RFBykYscilB5Y6kRwfCndv/s1600/Photo0031.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOYnV_XJZ1Pm8GSYGfJ0bmBk-84k7xU0PGE4_glynstqt7DwtoHk-C_yAmTRHFG2OdXoAYTx7WohLf3IET36-WuTB1XCgbxStPxpCAVY987ym6ymE8gsF1X8RFBykYscilB5Y6kRwfCndv/s320/Photo0031.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5642314535556410722" border="0" /></a>This is me wearing shoes at work! Once again, everything is taking longer than I expected, but I'm making progress. I hope to be completely boot free by next week. I'll also be starting physical therapy, with the same person I've been going to for 2.5 years! Even though I'm three months out from surgery, the hard work is just beginning.
<br />Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-28757909206553639512011-08-12T10:42:00.004-05:002011-08-12T10:54:27.082-05:00Worst.Blogger.Ever.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhik0gZB4CGL8oqU0EjvEYapEe0mE-KVe5uzf001G0XO6unmhrVQsJb8mFLu-rGcJa_87d9BzHPeDKbBEK7tW_taiT59lnWIQ32SZa2BpM9gHGg3NkR-0yY2jDHiAHKY7X6km1k_bPn5VwF/s1600/Photo0029.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhik0gZB4CGL8oqU0EjvEYapEe0mE-KVe5uzf001G0XO6unmhrVQsJb8mFLu-rGcJa_87d9BzHPeDKbBEK7tW_taiT59lnWIQ32SZa2BpM9gHGg3NkR-0yY2jDHiAHKY7X6km1k_bPn5VwF/s320/Photo0029.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639998139755078882" border="0" /></a>
<br />Sorry. I don't know where my mind has been for the last month. There's so much for me to say and I just haven't had the motivation to say anything. I will start with my most recent visit to Dr. McGorgeous. He came in with a resident and the first thing I did was apologize for acting so ridiculous last time I was there. He knew I meant that I had threatened to cry about having a cast, but he told the resident, with a completely straight face, that I HIT HIM the last time I was there. LOL. The poor resident didn't know if he was serious or joking, and I played along with him. Good times. Then we took a look at my x-rays. They were beautiful. You cannot see that my leg had been broken. You cannot see that I donated or received a bone graft. It is just a beautiful, normal looking ankle plus two screws. I almost cried from relief. However, I am not out of the woods and I still have a "good 5 months of healing ahead of me". I am allowed to start wearing a shoe at work (more on that in a minute), but I'm still in the boot if I'm going outside for any reason. I'm not allowed to go to yoga yet and I was also given instructions "not to do anything stupid". It's good to have a doctor who gives easy to follow instructions!
<br />
<br />So, I'm finishing up my second week back at work now. I'm exhausted and unmotivated. I'm still adjusting and it's really hard. It usually takes me half the amount of time I was off to feel like myself again. So...that will be 4.5 weeks in this case. This was my first week in the shoe. Monday I wore it 4 hours. Tuesday, 6 hours. Wednesday, 8 hours!!! The WHOLE day!!! Thursday, 4 hours. Today, 0 hours. Uh-oh. One step forward, two steps back. In the picture you can see where my heel is and the massive amount of swelling that has shown up in the last two days. My ankle isn't happy about this whole shoe idea. :( So, back to the beginning and I'll start again tomorrow with 2 hours. I'll also begin physical therapy again in a couple weeks and I'm hoping that will help. I'm having some pretty painful nerve issues in addition to the swelling. I think a big part of the problem is being in the boot, but I can't seen to transition into the shoe. Sometimes you just can't win. So I'll try to be patient and remind myself that 3 months of recovery is just the beginning. It seems like a long time, but it's not.
<br />Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-5978312376618356722011-07-11T22:41:00.002-05:002011-07-11T22:48:36.088-05:00Fun and Games are OverThis is hard. I haven't forgotten the other times I've had to start walking again. Oh no, I've gone over every single detail of how I did and figured out what worked and what didn't, and this is a streamlined process. Except it's not this time. This surgery is so different from my other ones. I feel like even with all of my experience, this surgery has so many unknowns. I'm still using a crutch the majority of the time. I feel like I'm failing. I want to be walking. It's not pain that's a problem, at least not pain from the incisions. It's the pain from the tendons, especially my Achilles, which hadn't worked in 6 weeks. I just physically can't move like I want to, or would expect to. And I'm not basing this on other people, I'm basing this what I've done in the past. So frustrating. I'm SO frustrated. It's not a big leap to think that I'll never walk normally again. I'll never be okay again. I'm happy I have this blog. It's my journal, and I can go back and read that I felt this EXACT SAME WAY, every.single.time. It doesn't make it easier. This is hard, and I hope I never make it sound like this is easy.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-30845989056719171762011-07-10T14:08:00.001-05:002011-07-10T14:10:05.056-05:00It wasn't prettyBut I did it. I took my first steps today. I'm still using the one crutch the majority of the time- see?? I CAN take it easy. I've got a long way to go til "normal" but this was an important milestone!Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-90536538232406984892011-07-08T15:02:00.003-05:002011-07-08T15:15:12.622-05:00Threats!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3c-3rtnI1vTBflizhQASPNagZzPmDKSLdHJg09MKEt5EcsPy2GHhhtVLFWV1-7C7vaXgtacxtWSZFS0INQ6DiJ8y8w4ekzPXoJoyUj9Px9rviADkspmpdBZuWwEL0RQLwLgSwCldtK9l2/s1600/Photo0015.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3c-3rtnI1vTBflizhQASPNagZzPmDKSLdHJg09MKEt5EcsPy2GHhhtVLFWV1-7C7vaXgtacxtWSZFS0INQ6DiJ8y8w4ekzPXoJoyUj9Px9rviADkspmpdBZuWwEL0RQLwLgSwCldtK9l2/s320/Photo0015.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5627076910813403474" border="0" /></a><br />I had my doctors appointment yesterday. I had a BAD feeling about it for a few days before. I just knew something wasn't going to go right. I had my x-rays, and after they were done I was wheeled back to the CAST ROOM. You go to the cast room when you get a cast. Oh HELL no. I told the nurse as she was wheeling me (my pink and black cast was cut off, so I had to be in a wheelchair since I had no protection around my ankle and couldn't use crutches) that she should warn Dr. McGorgeous that if he tries to put me in another cast I will break down crying. And I meant it. So he comes in and goes "Let me get you some tissues". Oh HELL no. I asked him why I couldn't have a boot. He said my x-rays looked good but he was worried about the amount of pain I would be in with a boot. A walking cast provides more compression, so he figured I would feel better in that. I told him I wanted a boot, and if he put me in a cast I would FOR REAL start to cry. I guess this was a significant threat, because in all this time, I have never once cried in front of him. I got my boot, and the warning that if it hurts too much, I HAVE to come back on Monday and get a walking cast. I agreed to that. So I got my boot and was able to weight bear out of the office. I was putting about 80% of my weight on the crutches, but 20% on my ankle! Got home, and shaved the hell out of my leg. It was so gross. I post surgery pictures and I won't post a picture of how gross my leg hair was. I found out that the whole area under the steristrips is numb. This may get better, it may not. That's sort of a bummer. I hope I get feeling back. Today I was able to take steps using just one crutch, a la Tiny Tim. I plan to walk by the end of the weekend!!!!Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-7183444184092924922011-06-30T22:53:00.003-05:002011-06-30T22:55:53.748-05:00And now for something completely different.....I've been keeping a secret. For a very long time. Well, not a secret exactly. About a year ago I wrote a post in the form of a letter to my surgeon. In it I mentioned that I have always wanted to be a doctor, but I felt like my injury was holding me back. <br /><br />I applied to medical school today. It's a long process with a lot of steps, but I made the leap today. <br /><br />The silver lining of being this injured for this long is that it has removed any doubt that a career as a physician is right for me.<br /><br />Wish me luck!Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-4143025744686647342011-06-29T18:39:00.002-05:002011-06-29T18:43:03.915-05:00One more cast picture (hopefully)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEvFZZJ3erfJ5t651Zhbk2p3B-SgCwWFaiA43snh379OwQmoLojoJCIWEB-oShGdXBR26Rn4hBj4PovA2mNflywksQ7ru3H5PJxfqC_22xPhvfGH7VL1pZxGLwzxiF_ew71a_1f8UaOh7A/s1600/Photo0014.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEvFZZJ3erfJ5t651Zhbk2p3B-SgCwWFaiA43snh379OwQmoLojoJCIWEB-oShGdXBR26Rn4hBj4PovA2mNflywksQ7ru3H5PJxfqC_22xPhvfGH7VL1pZxGLwzxiF_ew71a_1f8UaOh7A/s320/Photo0014.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5623790795237765106" border="0" /></a>A week from tomorrow I have my x-rays. If they look good I can start trying to walk again. I REALLY hope they look good...Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-61665868935688326592011-06-20T18:36:00.001-05:002011-06-20T18:37:22.419-05:00Feel free to commentI have some pictures of my surgery itself. You can see exactly what was repaired. I think they are awesome, but should I post them? Will you all get grossed out? They are GRAPHIC.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814771234160944479.post-57611541400512913852011-06-20T18:33:00.005-05:002011-06-21T00:03:20.416-05:00Computer Wizard<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_JjhmSMFyztAzZcpZN6F0F-0AQOKnet002kjg7XhtfWmDMagLUAb0tdPZwP0d8ai7fD-R69vtjNKVeNn2rrLyveUXbQloYl0usCeLPNyaPxCerlbLM4hPXZNGCd5kt5uaXnJlbDaEEHeU/s1600/graft+site.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_JjhmSMFyztAzZcpZN6F0F-0AQOKnet002kjg7XhtfWmDMagLUAb0tdPZwP0d8ai7fD-R69vtjNKVeNn2rrLyveUXbQloYl0usCeLPNyaPxCerlbLM4hPXZNGCd5kt5uaXnJlbDaEEHeU/s320/graft+site.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5620449323745022386" border="0" /></a><br />Here's the repair. You can see that the very end of my leg is broken and is basically hanging out of my body. In the center of the white bone is a circle. That's the piece that he transferred in!<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiBoj5blAhqcAfByGmDUmRaWe4LGk5ihcXUTtXtQs_SlgPuiIUPtNEz_Go7ngTdS5mXxl8U_qBCmLhXSk5CD64To76dTQcOuON8yf6gMOVDFn_HyQxFfIx1NKuErZsPGBwRsTXwJCA5r7N/s1600/donor+site.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 329px; height: 185px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiBoj5blAhqcAfByGmDUmRaWe4LGk5ihcXUTtXtQs_SlgPuiIUPtNEz_Go7ngTdS5mXxl8U_qBCmLhXSk5CD64To76dTQcOuON8yf6gMOVDFn_HyQxFfIx1NKuErZsPGBwRsTXwJCA5r7N/s320/donor+site.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5620532324426287314" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />In the second picture, you can see the bright red circle in the middle of the white bone. This is where he took the graft that got transferred into the first picture. He filled it in with a combination of my own bone marrow and a bone growing matrix, which is why it is red.<br /><br />Right now, my body is trying to incorporate the new graft, grow new bone in the donor site, and repair my broken tibia. Which reminds me....I need to take my calcium!Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12480870625089718764noreply@blogger.com2