Lucky number 7

Well, my most recent visit with Dr. BlueEyes was much more successful than my last visit. Meaning, I didn't have a drug-withdrawal induced meltdown. I let him know before my visit started that I would not, under any circumstances, being crying at this visit, and I was going to redeem myself from our last ultrasound. Dr. BlueEyes was nice enough to go over the results of my MRI with me, since I haven't seen Dr. McGorgeous yet. Basically, the MRI showed inflammation. Nothing to write home about. Dr. BlueEyes said he was guessing that I have some tendonitis, and we'd hit it with some steroids. I said, lets see what that ultrasound shows, I have a habit of doing weird things. I also mentioned that dissolving suture lump and how it bothers me. So we start the ultrasound. It didn't take long for me to hear the word "split" come out of his mouth. I asked him what was split, and he said that he wasn't convinced yet, he needed to look around some more. It was only a few seconds later when he found the view he was looking for. My anterior tibialis tendon is split longways. I tore a freaking tendon. I TORE a TENDON. Three months ago. My options? Surgery. I think I was the least surprised person in the room to hear that. Of course it needs surgery. If it only hurt a little bit, do you think I'd go for x-rays, a bone scan, and MRI and an ultrasound???? Nope. So he puts the ultrasound wand on the other side of my ankle and we look at the lump. It's definitely a lump. I asked him to take it out, and he laughed about how I wanted this tiny little lump out. But then he asked for a scalpel. So I did get a shot of lidocaine to numb it, but I still felt most of it. He took out my lump, which no longer was a suture, but had turned into a yucky blood clot. Then he put a stitch in to keep everything closed up. I'll take that out in a week. While he was sewing, I told him he better make that suture nice, because I don't want an ugly scar! Fortunately for me, Dr. BlueEyes gets my sense of humor and laughed. So where do we stand now? Well, in a week and a half I'll go talk to Dr. McGorgeous about what this next surgery entails. Wish me luck!

Happy Anniversary!

Two years ago this evening I walked into the gym and walked out with my life changed. I didn't know then what was in store for me, and even now I don't know if there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I got a call from Dr. McGorgeous today. I don't have a stress fracture. I never did. It turns out there's a lot of inflammation in the joint itself (which is what appeared positive on the bone scan). He's sending me back to Dr. Blueeyes for an ultrasound. It seems like there may be a nerve that's compressed in there. I've had surgery before to release a nerve on the other side of my shin. The appointment isn't for another week, but I may try to pull some strings and get in there early.

Ugh

I don't even want to tell you this. I don't want to write it and make it real. I saw Dr. McGorgeous on Thursday. We talked a little about how the bone scan was positive for an injury, and how it had been 7 weeks and nothing was really getting better. He grabbed my ankle and pushed a few spots. It drives me nuts that he always knows EXACTLY where to push to make it hurt. And then he looked at my scan again, looked back at me, and asked "So what do you want to do now?" omfg. He is asking me what I want to do. This can't be good. And so I tell him that resting and wearing my boot are making things worse, so I don't rest and I don't wear my boot like he asked me to. He tells me that at this point an MRI is one possibility, an ultrasound being another. I have no problem with either of these options, but I was sort of confused by WHY we would need another test when the bone scan has already confirmed the stress fracture. And in case you think I've learned one single thing in the past two years of doing this, I'm about to prove you wrong. I ask him, "Do we really need to do another test? It's not like you repair stress fractures, right?"
Wrong.
Turns out that all stress fractures are not created equal. My stress fracture is in my medial malleolus. This is considered a "critical" stress fracture because they are notorious for not healing. Surgery IS an option. Plates and screws to hold the bone together. Medial malleolus stress fractures are rare (of course) and even if I do not have surgery, it can take a year or longer for my body to repair this injury on it's own. Dr. McGorgeous mentioned an NBA player who had this injury and it took him 2.5 years to heal. Granted, I am not trying to play professional basketball here, but that's a good example of how nasty these injuries are.
So what now? Well, we do the MRI. We see how bad the fracture is. We make decisions based on the facts. In the meantime, I wait. And wait. And wait. I have spent the last 5 months putting my life back together after my 6th surgery. I am trying to imagine losing all the things I have gained in order to have a 7th. For the most part, I just CAN'T go there right now. At the same time, my other option is to be in pain for a year or longer to heal naturally. Rock vs. hard place.