Ugh

I don't even want to tell you this. I don't want to write it and make it real. I saw Dr. McGorgeous on Thursday. We talked a little about how the bone scan was positive for an injury, and how it had been 7 weeks and nothing was really getting better. He grabbed my ankle and pushed a few spots. It drives me nuts that he always knows EXACTLY where to push to make it hurt. And then he looked at my scan again, looked back at me, and asked "So what do you want to do now?" omfg. He is asking me what I want to do. This can't be good. And so I tell him that resting and wearing my boot are making things worse, so I don't rest and I don't wear my boot like he asked me to. He tells me that at this point an MRI is one possibility, an ultrasound being another. I have no problem with either of these options, but I was sort of confused by WHY we would need another test when the bone scan has already confirmed the stress fracture. And in case you think I've learned one single thing in the past two years of doing this, I'm about to prove you wrong. I ask him, "Do we really need to do another test? It's not like you repair stress fractures, right?"
Wrong.
Turns out that all stress fractures are not created equal. My stress fracture is in my medial malleolus. This is considered a "critical" stress fracture because they are notorious for not healing. Surgery IS an option. Plates and screws to hold the bone together. Medial malleolus stress fractures are rare (of course) and even if I do not have surgery, it can take a year or longer for my body to repair this injury on it's own. Dr. McGorgeous mentioned an NBA player who had this injury and it took him 2.5 years to heal. Granted, I am not trying to play professional basketball here, but that's a good example of how nasty these injuries are.
So what now? Well, we do the MRI. We see how bad the fracture is. We make decisions based on the facts. In the meantime, I wait. And wait. And wait. I have spent the last 5 months putting my life back together after my 6th surgery. I am trying to imagine losing all the things I have gained in order to have a 7th. For the most part, I just CAN'T go there right now. At the same time, my other option is to be in pain for a year or longer to heal naturally. Rock vs. hard place.