things are happening, people!

What a difference a month and a TENS unit will make. My pain is drastically reduced. It always makes me sad when the pain dies down and I realize just how bad it's been. When I'm in the thick of the pain, I try to block it out. I don't want to think about it or acknowledge it. But it had been really really bad. There were many occasions where I would look at my hand and at my nails and picture myself reaching down and tearing my own skin off. Because that would make the pain better. That's some crazy shit right there. But now things are getting better. I saw Dr. McGorgeous and he's really happy with how much bone I've been growing and how much better my pain is. I'm allowed to use the elliptical, the bike and go to yoga again. My first time going to the gym was so emotional. I am only doing 10 minutes on levels 1/2 but mentally and emotionally I feel like I've reached a milestone. I cried a lot when I got home that night. Out of joy for where I am now and out of sadness for what I went through to get here. And I'm not out of the woods. I have another doctor's appointment in February. He wants to see the bone continue to grow, my pain continue to fade, my strength grow and my shin splints resolve. It's hard to believe this could actually be real. That THIS could have been the surgery that did it. If you've read this blog, you can understand why I'm hesitant to get excited. In the meantime, I will just do what I can. I have a "workout" planned for tomorrow. I can't wait. :)