Psychic

Dr. McGorgeous agrees with my assessment. There is a greater than 90% chance he needs to break my bone, but he said he will put a camera in and look around just to be sure. And then he told me to plan for the bone breaking. I'm glad I had an extra week to look at the CT scan myself and come to terms with this before hearing that.

Not so Hot

I won't lie. I talked the CT tech into giving me a copy of my scan Thursday morning. I don't think she knew that I would go home and attempt to read it myself. But. I did. I don't see Dr. McGorgeous until next Friday, so I'm glad I have at least a passing ability to read these things, or else I'd go nuts. My computer screen doesn't have the highest resolution, but it appears that part of the articular cartilage is gone. That means the big bone cutting surgery. Hopes weren't high before, but they are in the gutter now. Maybe I'll get some miraculous news next week anyway.

Not hoping

I'm having a CT scan tomorrow. There is a small chance that I may not need the bone breaking surgery. If my top layer of cartilage is still intact on the talus, Dr. McGorgeous would be willing to drill up from underneath and fill it with a bone growing matrix. Sort of like getting a cavity filled. Obviously, this is a much less invasive surgery, and I would love for this to happen. But. I'm not hoping. For some reason, I haven't been able to catch a break yet with my ankle, so why would be start now? I'm not saying that in a bitter way, just honest. I'm planning for a leg breaking surgery with a long recovery. If something fun pops up in my CT scan, I'll try to post a pic!

bullet points

-I am having my surgery with Dr. McGorgeous, not Dr. Indy
-We are repairing my talus
-We are not repairing any ligaments
-We will be using a cadaver talus for the bone graft
-He will need to break my leg in order to repair my talus
-He will then put my leg back together with screws
-This is an inpatient procedure
-I need to take 12 weeks off work for recovery
-I will need to give myself blood thinning shots after surgery to prevent blood clots

Confession

Oh, this is juicy. I cheated on Dr. McGorgeous. Ugh. After the three options for this tendon were presented, I did what any rational, level headed person who has plenty of experience with this would do. I panicked. I found a doctor. Remember San Fran, that professional football player I know? This is the other surgeon he has used. I had to travel to a different time zone to see this guy. I scheduled the appointment (that happened on Wednesday) at the end of January. This guy operates on a lot of NFL players and Olympians. He's legit. What I wanted was to hear the same three options that Dr. McGorgeous gave me. And maybe which option he is leaning towards. Place your bets now if you think that's what I got.
Instead, he rolled into the exam room with 2 residents and a fellow. Never a good sign when they want the students to see you. By the way, I had sent my entire medical file over to his office when I scheduled the appointment, so Dr. NFL knew what he was getting himself into. The exam was routine. The same tests I've had a million times. Stress tests. Strength tests. Questions. Answers. He definitely took his time with me. After he was done, he sat back and told me my tendon wasn't my problem. Excuse me, what? The tendon? It's a non-issue.
So, what exactly IS my issue?
Remember a million hundred thousand and eleven years ago, when all I had was a torn ligament and a fracture on my talus? According to Dr. NFL, my current problem is that the repair we did to my talus failed. It's still causing me pain, and it needs to be re-repaired. Only, since the first repair failed, now we need to go in with a bone graft. Yeah, that's right. Take a chunk out of my tibia, and insert it into my talus.
Wait, there's more.
The outside of your ankle is a whole bunch of ligaments. I've had two of them repaired. I have not had a specific ligament, called the CF ligament, fixed. It needs to be fixed.
Let me sum this up for you. More than two years after needing a lateral ligament and talar OCD repair done, I need......a lateral ligament and talar OCD repair done.
I told him I didn't believe him. He didn't seem upset by this. He said we would do an experiment. He thinks the talus is my problem. I think it's a tendon. He will numb my talus. If the pain goes away, he's right. If the pain persists, I'm right. So the needle came out, went in, and they left me alone with the instructions "do what you need to do to make it hurt". So I walked around the exam room. I jumped, repeatedly. I ran in place. And nothing....NOTHING I did made it hurt. He was right.
I drove the entire way home in complete silence. For hours. I got home and vomited. To say that I am confused is an understatement. Who do I believe? The doctor I've had for years and ABSOLUTELY TRUST WITH MY LIFE, or this new guy who has met me for an hour? Was that a legitimate experiment he did? What do I do now? If Dr. NFL is right, we are talking over a month off work and 6 months for a full recovery. Ha, I forgot. You already know that because you read my blog. You know exactly what's coming, and so do I. I have no plan for now. I see Dr. McGorgeous the first week in April. I will confess then, and see what he says.

Seriously?

This is my new friend. He lives in my shoes. The orthotics man was kind enough to let me borrow these samples while he is creating my custom orthotic. This thing doesn't include any of the arch support I desperately need, but after slipping this thing in my shoe for a week, I have noticed serious reductions in pain. Like, 75% of my pain is just gone. My fingers are crossed that when I get the orthotic designed specifically for my foot that the rest of the pain goes away. Could it be just that easy?

New Characters

Last week I met with the orthotics man. I was a little apprehensive about the visit. I don't like not knowing what to expect, and with what I have riding on these shoe inserts, my stomach was in knots by the time they called me back. I am planning to write a long post next week when I pick up my custom inserts, but *SPOILER ALERT*....he gave me some non-custom inserts to wear while he is building mine and I am starting to feel really good. Really REALLY good.....stay tuned....